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Fraggin'

By Bill Shunas

The presidential election season is upon us. For all those interested in politics, these are the good times. That's because the usually deceiving politicians will finally be telling the truth. Happens every four years. Consider what we will hear:

Mr. Dole saying, "That Bill Clinton. He's up to his belly button in Whitewater sleaze." By golly, old Bob is finally telling the truth.

Mr. Clinton says, "That Bob Dole is owned lock, stock and a barrel of corn oil by the Archer Daniels Midland company of price-fixing fame." And that's the truth. Keep telling it like it is, Bill, and people will forget those little old fibs about Gennifer Flowers.

And maybe Clinton will reveal the whole truth about the illegal fundraising Dole has done over the years. And good old Bob will read off the list of campaign promises Bill made in '92 and has since broken. And who can say there's no truth in politics? Why, even the spouses can get into the act.
Hillary Clinton: "Mrs. Dole took over the Red Cross and manipulated it to suit the Dole campaign. And she gave prestigious jobs to political contributors of her hubby."

And Elizabeth Dole can counter: "I'm just a fine Christian woman trying to do good. I'm not in this for personal gain, unlike Mrs. Clinton. She got away with that little bit of insider trading where she made that easy hundred thousand. I mean! Such a desperate maneuver for so little cash."

And what about drugs? I don't know if the voters care, but the politicians are concerned about which party smoked, toked, snorted and shot up the most. The Speaker of the House. White House staff. The Republican keynote speaker. They seem to think they might get more votes if they confess to drug use, usually after somebody out of their past blows the whistle. Then they blame it on college silliness. Is that what higher education means?

In the meantime, less influential people are doing five years hard time for doing less drugs than these folks.

And this will give Clinton a chance to attack Dole on his favorite drug which has probably killed off more people than all the others combined. Dole won't admit that tobacco is harmful. Actually, tobacco has probably been healthy for his campaign and the making of political allies.
However, Dole has the advantage on the drug issue. Imagine a televised debate. He'll look directly into the camera, muster up all the sincerity of a Richard Nixon, and declare, "You did inhale. I believe with all my heart that no one would put a joint to his lips, take a puff and not inhale."

So, the election will go on. Meanwhile, the average wage of working Americans goes down, the hard-off get cast aside, more promises to veterans are broken, more promises to non-veterans are broken, and the wealthy get more wealthy, This stuff will be ignored. We'll have debates on drugs and budget-balancing and crime in the streets (not in the office).

It's a wonder you'd want to get out of bed on Election Day. In fact, fewer of us may vote than ever before. Ain't much to choose from that will improve your life. They call it democracy, but what is democracy without choices to make? Do we get to vote on a better future? Any future? Is there a political party that looks after our interests? Not at the moment. So the big question: what do you think? Will we be worse off with a Democratic President and a Republican Congress? A Republican President and a Democratic Congress? A Demcat and Demcats? A Repcan and Repcans? None of the above? All of the above? Let the games begin.