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Fraggin'

By Bill Shunas

Sp. 5 Willy (Ret.)
Bill Shunas

I was thinking about the work "pig" the other day. Seems like no one uses that word anymore. Back in the days when every other day brought a demonstration against the war or for civil rights, the police use to club demonstrators, gas them or set dogs loose on them. Soon, demonstrators and their supporters began calling the police "pigs" because of these and other acts of brutality. There were objections by various farm groups and swine raiser associations, but the word stuck. Gradually the term was expanded to include members of the ruling class, police agents and various anti-people flunkies who were apologists for the politics of the ruling class.

Over the last ten years or so, people stopped using the word "pig" extensively. I guess that's because the cops aren't busting heads anymore except here and there. But I miss the word. Instead of giving a give minute speech or writing seven paragraphs to explain why someone was an ass, you just said "Pig." That made everything so simple.

So why am I having a nostalgia attack about pigs? It's because of a report coming out of Lower Saxony, which is in Germany. There, some of the police are really pigs. They've been using dogs to sniff out heroin and other drugs, but now the dogs are being replaced by—you guessed it—pigs. Luise, a 160-pound sow is one of the newest rookies on the police force in Lower Saxony. The authorities there claim that Luise and their colleagues have an acute sense of smell. I guess we've come full circle.

There's a new word appearing on the scene today: "war wimp." War wimp is a phrase coined by Congressman Andrew Jacobs, a Korean War vet. Jacobs is referring to those politicians, policy makers and opinion makers who are willing to fight the Red Menace or the peasants in Nicaragua to the last drop of somebody else's blood; but who, at the same time, avoided military duty when there was a going on and they were of fighting age.

Writer Jack Newfield of the Village Voice compiled a list of war wimps, and lo and behold, some of the leading congressional defense appropriations pushers like Representatives Newt Gingrich and Trent Lott are on the list. There are even several in the Defense Department. Most of these were of fighting age during Vietnam, but managed to get out of going by staying in school or failing the physical or joining the Coast Guard Reserve.

The White House even has a few war wimps. They recently hired Patrick Buchanan, a noted flaming conservative. One of Buchanan's jobs will be to set up a "response desk" to return fire when the President is attacked by his critics. He uses all the words that make life sound like a battle, but when a real battle was going on in Vietnam where he could have shot some of the real "commies' he talks about, Pat Buchanan pleaded a bum knee to his draft board.

The, of course, there is the Supreme War Wimp, the Commander-In-Chief Ronald Reagan who managed to remain 4F during the Big One. C'mon now. A guy I work with was missing two fingers when he was drafted for WWII so you know that Ronnie could have went if he was such a patriot. They were taking anybody for that war. But no. Ronald Reagan sat out his war in Hollywood. Now that he is Commander in Chief behind a desk in Washington, he has become a militant. From Lebanon to Grenada to Nicaragua, he's ready to send the boys into battle at the drop of the stock market.

There are no wimps in the Army. At least not around the Pentagon or on various bases. These soldiers are tough—so tough that a little rain water can't hurt them. The Army Clothing and Equipment Board found that out recently. They had the audacity to suggest that uniformed men around bases and the Pentagon be allowed to use umbrellas. The issue went all the way up to the Secretary of the Army and the Army Chief of Staff where it was disapproved because they "feel the image of male Army officers walking with umbrellas is somehow intrinsically unmilitary."

I know a lot of us thought our officers were all wet, but we weren't aware that it was SOP. The Navy and the Marines feel that way too, but Air Force officers are allowed the use of umbrellas. Pilots always were a strange breed.

Notice that they were concerned about the "image of male Army officers." Women in uniform are allowed to use umbrellas. I never looked closely, I wonder if umbrellas are OD, or camouflage. I wonder if women officers get to use the umbrella because the rain will spoil their perm? Is it macho to be all wet? I thought the dry look was in. I don't know. If it rains, give me my poncho!

I guess when you talk about women in the military, double standards will be around for quite awhile. Take the case of Marine Lance Corporal Candy Clark. She was raped by an officer who subsequently received and honorable discharge with all bennies.

One year later Marine Corps Captain John Moultak fell in love with Candy. When handing down his dishonorable discharge, the court martial board at the Marine Corps Air Station in El Toro, CA ruled that Moultak's wanting to marry an enlisted woman was "conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman."

I guess the rapist upheld the image of a Marine Corps officer. He probably never uses an umbrella. He's one of the Few. The Proud. The Marines. But Captain Moutlak didn't understand the Marine Corps' concept of how gentlemen should behave towards women.

I don't support the Navy is any better. At least not at the Truident Refit Facility in Bangor, Washington. There, the civilian executive director, Hal Singleton used the Navy photography lab to print up posters of a group of women hitched to a plow. Singleton passed out copies of the photo to Navy employees, telling people, "That's what God put women on earth for—to replace horses."

There was a flap, a complaint to Congresswoman Patricia Schroeder and an investigation by the Navy. The Navy investigation found that Singleton was going to use the photography for Human Relations Week and gave him an oral reprimand. I don't know what kind of human relation's program the Navy has, but they ought to get themselves some umbrellas. They can use them to hide their faces. As for Hal Singleton, I bet he's pretty good at sniffing out drugs—just like Luise.

One final note here. I came across an interesting of history that deserves mention in any column called Fraggin'. It was back in 1857, in India, that this happened, when the British were there to colonize and subjugate the people. Colonel John Finnis was a British Army Commander. Evidently the good colonel, although not a war wimp, was probably a pig. He decided to give his troops a lecture. His topic for the day was insubordination. Upon completion of his lecture, his troops immediately terminated Col Finnis. Touche'

GRENADE OF THE MONTH

This month's John Finnis memorial grenade goes to a civilian—Robert A Rowland, an appointee by the War Wimp as head of the Office of Safety and Health and supposed guardian of the health of America's working people. Rowland gets the grenade for a recent decision he made regarding farm workers.

Over the objections of five of his staff members, one of whom didn't have civil service protection and was fired, Rowland ruled that farm owners did not have to provide toilets and running water for their workers. Even enlisted Marine women get to have toilets and running water.

In the uproar following this decision, personal information came out about the stockholding of this buddy of the War Wimp. It seems that he has a generous stockholding in Tenneco, a company which, among other things, employs 2,000 farm workers to work over 10,000 acres of farm land in California and Arizona.

And this wasn't the only time he made an anti-worker ruling affecting a company in which he had stock. His extensive stock holdings include companies that manufacture formaldehyde and ethylene oxide. He has recently ruled against setting standard limits of exposure to these chemicals, which are believed to be health hazards.

Robert Rowland seems to be a prime example of conflict of interest by a man in high position in government, something that seems quite common nowadays. Rowland probably never uses an umbrella to tarnish his image. Then, with a chauffeur driven limo, he probably doesn't need one, although he might feel just a comfortable rooting around in some mudpile.