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Fraggin'

By Bill Shunas

As you can see, I've come out of the closet. Yep, they've put my name on this column. I guess I won't be able to hide from the FBI any longer.

As I understand it, names of writers were seldom used in THE VETERAN as long as the writing reflected the organizational position of VVAW. Either that or everyone was paranoid that the government would find out who they were and take 'em out in the desert, tie 'em up, cover 'em with molasses and leave 'em for the ants.

So now that my name is up front, I guess that means that my editors either want to disassociate themselves from any weirdness I might write or they don't care if I get turned over to Reagan to be tortured (maybe they'd make me listen to Reagan's speeches or watch his movies).

Anyway, I'm really a Willy I'm really retired. And I really was a Spec 5. I was a Spec 5 because I was a Spec 4. I was a Spec 4 because of a few square feet of plywood. That happened at Fort Leonard Wood.

I was a PFC for about a month or two and a company clerk and then the Army decided to give out special promotions to Spec 4 without regard to time in grade in order to get GI's to think about the Army as a career which was kind of stupid since Spec 4's were getting killed in Vietnam too, but anyway SFC Nicollett at Brigade HQ was in charge of distributing these promotions and SFC Nicollet was remodeling his basement and needed some plywood and Big Red who worked over at the 4th Brigade warehouse could get his hands on all kinds of stuff so Big Red got him some plywood and SFC Nicollet was happy and gave me the promotion to Spec 4, and I was happy and Big Red took a two-week leave for Christmas, and he was happy because he didn't get back until mid-February, but that was OK since I was company clerk and our Morning Report showed he was at Fort Leonard Wood all the time, and we all lived happily ever after except that's probably not true because SFC Nicollet was a mean sonofabitch who never smiled and probably hates himself and Big Red was a crazy Vietnam vet who's probably PVS-ed out in Detroit by now, and I'm sitting here writing this damn column.....

Did you watch the Olympics? I didn't, except when it happened to be on the TV when I stopped by the local watering hole for a sasperilla. I got tired of the games about two weeks before they started. By then it was well out of the realm of athletics and into realm of politics.

First, the Russians and their allies pull out of the games because the U.S. pulled out of the Moscow games in 1980. Then Reagan and a whole bunch of U.S. politicians and commentators go around looking down their noses at the Russians for saying they won't come. Then the Russians make a big thing about violence in this country (which is not true—they must have confused Los Angeles with Afganistan). And then the U.S. people talked about how stupid the Russians sounded. That may have been true, but it was total political opportunism on the U.S. part.

I was exhausted and the games hadn't started yet. Then on opening day, Reagan gives this speech to the U.S. team about winning one for the Gipper. This was totally out of line for what the spirit of the Olympics is supposed to be, to say nothing of being corny. Then, he had special praise for the women's team. That was kind of ironic. The women's team has become competitive because woman athletes in this country were finally able to develop and train because of court rulings giving them access to athletic scholarships under Title IX of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. So who is trying to do everything in their power to cut back the gains of Title IX for these women? Why it's the old Gipper himself, Ronnie Reagan.

So, then, as the leader of the host country, Reagan began the games, not with the simple traditional phrase that every other previous leader has used, "Let the games begin." Instead, the ham in him came out and he gave a short speech. From then on it was a mixture of fine athletics and good old Yankee jingoism as flags waived, anthems were played and announcers gushed over "our" team as young Americans won medal after medal.

Is there a connection between the Olympics and such things as preparing the people of the nation to take on the El Salvadorians or the Nicaraguans or the Russians? There is an appropriate quote: "I've discovered a wonderful thing," said Napoleon—you know, the general who left bloody troops all over Europe when he tried to conquer the world in the early 1800's. And what was that wonder thing, Napoleon? "Men will die for medals."

Maybe it's unfair to use quotes. Seems like you can always find a situation where they don't apply. Maybe Napoleon didn't have it quite right about medals. After all, look at what happened when the U.S. invaded Grenada.

For this little military action the Pentagon passed out over 7,000 medals. That's for a one sided battle against a small number of troops that involved a couple of days of fighting and a couple of weeks of mop-up.

In fact, the battle was so short that some of the medal winners didn't get there in time to see any action. Many never even left the Pentagon. I guess they got rewarded for answering phones or plotting strategy or something.

Sort of reminiscent of Vietnam. Officers at the ass end of the communications line got medals in bunches while the poor slobs who sucked mud and got shot at and killed had to be satisfied with Hearts of Purple and Agents of Orange. But that's all right. They didn't need medals to further their careers.

In comparison, one has to admire the way Cubans handled their officers on Grenada. They didn't pass out 7,000 medals or 700 or 7. Instead, the Colonel in command and 42 other officers were court martialed for cowardice, busted to private and sent to fight in Angola. I guess that means that in the Cuban army you get promoted according to how you do in the field, not according to how much your chest tilts.

Now that the Marines have been pulled out of Lebanon, I notice that the country is closer to peace. There still is skirmishing, and it is too soon to tell, but the Green Line has been dismantled, alliances have been formed, and the number of killings has been dramatically reduced. Could it actually mean that sending the Marines there was a mistake?

Of course. Some people who would agree are members of the Near East Bureau of the State Department. A new study has shown that the Reagan Administration has stifled dissent in the State Department. The Near East Bureau did not want Marines in Lebanon, but their dissent was not heard. The Marines were sent, and 269 were killed, and that war was prolonged. Maybe it's better to have Ronald Reagan fight his wars at the Olympics.

GRENADE OF THE MONTH

Despite everything else, Ronnie Reagan has been good to me. With all the turkeys he appoints to various government positions, it is easy to find someone to throw the Grenade at. Take Philip Abrams, Under Secretary of Housing and Urban Development for example. He gets this grenade for his analysis of overcrowding among Hispanic people. He said that the reason is that it is a cultural preference unrelated to poverty, and that Hispanics prefer doubling up.

For this in depth analysis of the problem, Ronnie Reagan ought to give him a medal. Or maybe appoint him Ambassador to Angola. Or better yet, why not Lebanon? He could study the housing shortage there. Maybe he could earn a purple heart or two!

—Bill Shunas (AKA SP5 Willy)