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Letters to VVAW

By VVAW

THE VETERAN welcomes letters, comments and criticisms. Please write. Also, send along any poetry, drawings, photos or stories you would like to see in the paper.

I recently attended a workshop entitled "Life, Death and Transition" led by noted thanatologist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross who has conducted these groups all over the world. In the company of 23 other people, one of whom was also a Vietnam vet, I experienced 5 days of extremely intense sharing and venting of various griefs, angers and sorrows—emotions that are so close to the being of most of us...

The program design was based upon release. This was accomplished by a process of externalization or public expression of the emotions that have been such a burden, if like myself, they have been kept locked-up. For myself, ANGER was a prime concern and I would learn to vent it by thrashing on phone books with a rubber hose! In this way the anger could be focused and verbally expressed at the same time which resulted in a tremendous sense of relief.

When the time was right for me, I was able to let go of 14yrs of pain, rage and guilt. I haven't been able to cry much since my return but, when it came, it was a flood. All the grief and guilt about the people I killed and the senseless destruction I was a part of just poured out. Then the rage and anger I felt about being used and about seeing my friends killed and wounded for nothing boiled over and focused on the telephone books. The room was filled with tattered bits of paper when I was finally too exhausted to continue but, for the first time since I got back, I felt totally peaceful inside; the rage, anger and pain subsided.

One thing that struck me throughout the whole week was the interest and curiosity that everyone there expressed about how veterans felt and why we felt we were the way we were. Many of the participants had husbands, brothers or sons who were vets that wouldn't talk about Vietnam. They wanted to understand and help but they were frustrated by the lack of information available. Many thanked us for being there and giving them a start on getting a handle they could take home with them. For myself, I knew that I'd be talking a lot more with my wife...

—Ned Curran
Solerno, CA.